When it comes to my personal relationship with God, I tend to be quite private. So, I find it interesting that Spirit has commissioned me to be a writer/Shaman; to share my spiritual journey with others. The dichotomy of these two concepts often leaves me paralyzed; unable to post on my blog or my Inspirational Site at Bellaonline.com.
Today, I asked, “Why?” Why is it that on my journey, the messages, the lessons, become so private for me that I dare not share? Who am I hiding my journey from? Do I really want people to think that I am perfect? Do I fear that people will read about my journey and get the wrong impression of me? Will they think that I cannot be an Educator or Shaman because I am human?
Today, I am beginning a 40-day healing process. It is one that I cannot define for you. I have simply heard Spirit tell me to go 40-days without and do as I am told within these 40 days. While I know that this is a part of my journey toward improved whole health and transition/elevation of my entire being, I do not know what awaits me on the other side.
If I were not me, I would question the sanity of this idea. Does this person really “hear” as she says she does or is she insane? And even as I am me, and I begin to formulate questions, Spirit sends me to text that provide answers to what I am about to embark upon.
At 3am, I am awake doing laundry & writing my letter of intent/my definition of whole health to Father God, Mother Earth, & The Universal Spirit of Unconditional Love. My intention is peace, clarity, strength, confidence, faith, unconditional love, purpose, effort, and focus in each area of my health (mental, spiritual, physical, emotional, and financial).
I want to love everyone more frequently than I do. “Yes,” there are moments when I love everyone; my husband, my children, my mother, my cousins, my friends, people across the waters, convicted criminals, and complete strangers.
I sometimes stop posting because I can’t explain how I hear, why I feel what I feel. Why connect in the way that I do, and I did not study with a Shaman to become a Shaman and everyone is looking for certification these days. But this is my truth and there is no certification and I don’t want to have that conversation.
Yet, again, I begin writing about this process. May it help me and you in our time of transition.